


this

by avalonjoan



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fever Dreams, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Sickfic, Vulnerability, come on people you know i'm a one trick pony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avalonjoan/pseuds/avalonjoan
Summary: It wasn’t quite dating and it wasn’t quite friends with benefits, it was just...this.Gansey ropes Adam into looking after Ronan when he has the flu.  Ronan doesn't want help, and in the midst of it all, Gansey makes an unexpected confession.The unplanned second bit: The whole squad gets sick. The whole squad gets better. Adam gets worse, Ronan remembers his time in the ER, and Gansey puts a ban on apologies.
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey III/Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	1. this

**Author's Note:**

> I refuse to acknowledge the kitchen/bathroom fusion because it's such a gross concept. (AU where they have a separate bathroom and kitchen like a normal apartment)

They were about halfway through English Lit when Ronan started sniffling. He clearly didn’t want people to notice, which resulted in frequent little sniffles instead of leaving the room to blow his nose like a sensible person. When Adam turned around to look at him, he saw Ronan wipe his nose against the back of his wrist, and then raise his eyebrows at Adam as if to say, ‘what are you looking at?’

After class, Gansey leaned against the lockers beside Adam’s while he switched out his textbooks, finishing up a conversation that started before class about maybe taking another trip up to DC. Ronan came back from the restroom, yanked his locker open, and pulled his coat on, flipping the collar up to cover his neck.

“Going somewhere?” Adam asked.

“Fucking ancient building’s drafty as shit.” Ronan slammed his locker and stalked down the hall toward their Latin classroom.

“I’m taking him to the infirmary as soon as class ends,” Gansey said once Ronan was out of earshot. “Call me when you get home from work, if you can.”

Adam nodded. “I’ll try.”

* * *

Bike to Boyd’s (since his car was, unsurprisingly, out of commission), work, bike home, find something to eat, shower, call Gansey. Adam lay on his back, phone tucked between his head and the pillow while he rubbed the dream-balm from Ronan into his hands. “It’s me,” he said when Gansey picked up, as if Gansey’s phone didn’t have caller ID, as if that would have been a useful greeting even if he didn’t. “How is he?”

Gansey sighed. “Not well.” Adam’s heart seized in his chest before Gansey continued, “Which is to say--he’ll be fine, but he’s very ill for the time being.”

“Did Sandy say what’s wrong?” 

“Flu. He’s refusing the antiviral because apparently it’s been known to cause nightmares in children, so we’re looking at four or five days of regular sick-dream-things.” There was a pause, and when Gansey continued, Adam finally registered the fatigue in his voice. “I’m going to stay up with him in case anything truly horrific comes through. Could you come by in the morning?”

“Sure.”

“No rush, of course.”

“Yeah.” As if Adam would sleep well knowing that Ronan was sick and Gansey was alone in dealing with him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

* * *

Adam let himself into Monmouth, dropping his backpack at the door, and headed to Ronan’s room. The door was ajar; he pushed it open to see Gansey seated on the bed next to a sleeping Ronan, knitting needles softly clicking away. His therapist had suggested that he find a hobby to fill the post-Glendower space, so Gansey had gone all-in on knitting. Ronan was constantly making fun of him, but he also wore the raven-motif hat that Gansey made him whenever he left this house. 

Putting a finger to his lips, Gansey set down his project and led Adam back to the main room, closing the door quietly behind him. “You look well-rested,” he said, putting his hand on Adam’s upper arm and giving a gentle squeeze before letting go.

“You don’t.” It was true--Gansey looked dead on his feet, like it was taking serious effort to keep his eyes open. “How was he overnight?”

Gansey shrugged. “Only a few things were on fire, and Noah had the idea of keeping a bucket of water and the oven mitts nearby, so the damage was minimal.”

“Speaking of which, where is Noah?” Generally, the other boy would have materialized at the presence of someone entering the apartment, but Adam hadn’t seen him yet.

“Oh,” Gansey smiled, “He’s playing with the winged baby goat and the pocket-sized night creature in his room. Apparently they’re all getting along swimmingly.”

Adam smiled as well, shaking his head. “Of course. I should let you go sleep--anything else I should know, besides the oven mitts?”

“Please make sure he takes some Tylenol in an hour or so and,” Gansey lowered his voice, “not surprisingly, he’s absolutely insufferable when he’s ill.”

“I can hear you, asshole.” Ronan’s voice was clearly audible through the wall, his statement punctuated by a coughing fit. Gansey widened his eyes at Adam in a knowing look before letting them back into Ronan’s room. 

Gansey had summarized it accurately last night—Ronan was obviously not well. Lying on his side, quilt pulled tightly around his shoulders, face flushed and damp with sweat, he looked absolutely miserable. Sliding Gansey’s half-finished sweater to the side, Adam sat on the bed near Ronan’s hips. “How are you feeling?”

“How the fuck do you think I’m feeling?” Adam knew that Ronan was being more of a jerk than usual because he was sick, but it still hurt to be snapped at. Apparently he betrayed this on his face because Ronan added, voice softer, “Sorry. You shouldn’t be here.” Adam tilted his head in question, and Ronan went on, “You can’t--I don’t want you to catch this.” 

Of course, Adam knew what the cut-off phrase would have been: he can’t afford to get sick, literally or figuratively. It was just one of the many differences between him and the other two; Ronan and Gansey could convalesce in bed for a week without any major trouble, but Adam still had to pay rent. He did, however, appreciate the concern. “I’ll be fine. I got my flu shot, unlike some people.” He narrowed his eyes at Ronan, who just gazed back blankly. Adam didn’t think he’d ever seen Ronan miss the opportunity for a comeback, and he almost felt sorry for trying to get a rise out of him in his current condition.

Slowly, Ronan pushed himself to a sitting position and the blanket fell to his lap. He reached for a balled-up t-shirt at the foot of the bed and pulled it on, letting out a low grunt and rubbing the muscles at the base of his neck with one hand after. “I’m gonna get some cereal,” he said as he scooted himself around Adam to the edge of the bed.

“Oh no,” Gansey said, stepping forward and holding up a hand at Ronan, “You’re staying here and I’m making breakfast. Adam, could you get him situated back in bed?”

With that, Ronan shot to his feet. “Uh-uh,” he protested, pushing past Gansey and into the hall, “I can put up with you babysitting me while I’m asleep, but I’m not a fucking invalid.” 

Gansey pursed his lips and Adam shrugged before following Ronan. He rounded the corner just in time to see Ronan slow his pace, put a hand against the wall, and drop to his knees before collapsing the rest of the way to the floor. 

Adam was kneeling at Ronan’s side just as the other lifted his head from the ground and tried to push himself to stand again. With a hand firmly on his shoulder, Adam held him down, meeting much less resistance than he anticipated. “Ronan, stop.”

It was as if this woke Ronan, who blinked tiredly, blearily, at Adam. “Did I…”

“Yeah.”

Slumping against Adam, Ronan rested his head on the other’s shoulder. “I really don’t feel good.” This brought back the tension in Adam’s chest from the night before This was a side of Ronan he never saw: the one who admitted defeat.

“I know,” Adam murmured against Ronan’s scalp, the skin feverish beneath the stubble of his hair. “You’re awful warm.”

Gansey, who had been hovering nearby, took off toward the kitchen and returned a minute later with a glass of water and a box of tissues. Kneeling at Ronan’s side, he handed him two tablets that were tucked in the palm of his hand; Ronan put them in his mouth and took a drink of the water. Adam saw him wince as he swallowed and started running his fingertips up and down Ronan’s back, hoping that it was at least somewhat comforting.

“It is so hard to let us look after you?” Gansey inched closer and laid a hand on Ronan’s leg, rubbing up and down the length of his thigh.

Ronan didn’t reply, and for a moment Adam wondered if he’d fallen asleep. But then Ronan spoke, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “I don’t want to get used to it.”

“To what?”

“To having you around to care about me.” It was at this moment that Adam’s heart tore in two. He put his other arm around Ronan and held him tight, only letting go when Ronan started coughing. 

Gansey placed his hand atop Ronan’s, running his thumb over the other’s skin. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Once he caught his breath, Ronan continued, “It’s dangerous to be around me.” He didn’t need to say any more. The only other dreamers they knew were dead. They’d seen firsthand how people got hurt in the aftermath. Ronan squeezed his eyes shut, and Adam saw a few tears slide off his eyelashes.

“I hate to break it to you,” Gansey said, lifting his hand to dry Ronan’s cheeks, “But you’re not the only one making things dangerous around here.” Adam remembered how his own hands betrayed him, how Ronan was the one to pull him back. He pressed his lips to Ronan’s head again, resting there in an apologetic kiss.

“I know, I know.” Ronan sniffled and went to wipe his nose against his wrist before reaching for a tissue. “It’s just--things feel different now. Because of—” he made a circle with his index finger, pointing at each of the three of them, “--this.”

This. A succinct, though not specific, term for what had happened over the past few months. Less succinctly: Ronan kissed Adam, Adam told Gansey, Gansey was sullen for a few days and then confessed to Ronan that he always thought that  _ he  _ would be the one Ronan kissed, Ronan told Adam who said that he always thought  _ he  _ would kiss Gansey, Ronan and Adam invited Gansey to the Barns for a movie night, Ronan made Gansey sit in between him and Adam, and Gansey didn’t pay any attention to the movie because he was too busy kissing and being kissed by his two best friends. Somewhere around that time Gansey died and came back and Ronan melted into black and Adam was possessed by a demon; as a result, they never actually talked about it. It wasn’t quite dating and it wasn’t quite friends with benefits, it was just...this.

Adam nodded. “Of course it’s different.” He placed a hand protectively on Ronan’s chest. “But I think it’s better, too.” 

Closing his eyes, Ronan rested his head on Adam’s shoulder again. He moved his hand so that one finger linked with Gansey’s. 

“Will you stay here with Adam and let me make you something to eat now?”

Ronan made a small noise of affirmation and let go of Gansey’s hand to allow the other the stand. After a few minutes of the only noise being that of Gansey in the kitchen, Adam said quietly, “I get it, you know.”

“Hm?” Ronan tried to lift his head, but Adam urged him back down with one hand.

“Wanting to do everything on your own. But then someone paid my rent and someone else gave me a car and—” he sighed, smiling even though Ronan couldn’t see. “It’s something you can learn.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ronan’s exhausted voice lent itself to the deadpan delivery, but then he stifled a laugh that turned into a cough and curled over on himself, coughing into his elbow while Adam rubbed his back. “I fucking hate this,” he muttered, and when Adam paused, he went on, “Not you. Keep going, that feels nice.”

They stayed like that until breakfast was ready: Ronan leaning forward, head on bent knees; Adam working over the sore muscles of Ronan’s lower back. When Gansey brought food to the table, Adam helped Ronan to his feet and made sure he wasn’t going to topple over before allowing him to walk on his own. “I figured something bland might sit better,” Gansey offered as Ronan went to take a bite of scrambled egg, “But let me know if you’d prefer something else.”

“Okay, mom,” Ronan grumbled, but kept eating nevertheless. After finishing half of the eggs on his plate and one of the pieces of toast, he sat back and stared absently at the table.

“Everything okay?”

Ronan shrugged. “Yeah. I just--I don’t feel good. Nothing tastes right. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Now, there was something Adam never thought someone would have to tell Ronan.

“I’m gonna go shower.” Ronan stood, taking a moment to steady himself before leaving the table. 

Gansey and Adam exchanged glances before bringing the plates and utensils back to the kitchen and piling them in the sink. Putting a mug of water in the microwave, Gansey leaned against the kitchen counter and rubbed his palms over his face, stifling a yawn.

“You can go to bed, you know,” Adam said.

“I think I’ll feel better about it once he’s back in his room.” It wasn’t often that Adam saw Gansey scared, but the look in his eyes when Ronan was on the floor wasn’t far off from when they’d been on the side of the road with Ronan drowning in the driver’s seat. Resting his hands at his sides, Gansey tilted his head toward the ceiling and sighed. “He’s not hard to love, but he doesn’t try to make it easy, either.”

Adam’s breath caught, eyes wide. “What?”

“Ah, my apologies.” Gansey leaned closer, angling himself toward Adam’s good ear and raising his voice a little. “I said he’s not hard to--ah.” So Gansey wasn’t entirely oblivious to the perceived gravity of what he’d said moments ago after all. He stared at Adam for a second before giving a breath of laughter, rubbing the back of his head self-consciously. The microwave dinged. “I suppose we should talk about this sometime.” Wordlessly, Adam nodded. “Once Ronan’s better, of course.”

“Yeah.” Adam still sounded breathless, but the prospect of finding some sort of definition for this...it was nice. Adam had never had anything to define before. “Of course.”

“Right then.” Taking the mug out of the microwave, Gansey tore open a packet of some sort of ginger drink and dumped it in, swirling with a spoon before squeezing in an absolutely excessive amount of honey. When Adam made a small sound of protest, he explained, “I read that it’s a natural cough suppressant.”

“Oh.” Adam fidgeted with his watchband.

Spoon still spinning in the mug for a moment after he released it, he turned to Adam and took his hand. “I didn’t mean to make things strange. You’re both dearly important to me, and I’ll leave it at that.” He lifted Adam’s hand to his lips and then held it to his chest.

A smile spreading across his lips, Adam nodded. He and Gansey held their positions for a few moments before stepping back, Adam starting to wash dishes and Gansey sipping at the drink to make sure it wasn’t too hot. When the door to the bathroom opened and a shirtless Ronan emerged, they both turned to face him. “Better?” Gansey asked, crossing the room, mug in hand.

Ronan shrugged. “A little.”

“Excellent. I’m going to leave this on the nightstand for you and then hand you off to Adam.” He gestured with the mug before heading toward Ronan’s room. Ronan followed, and Adam dried his hands and went after him.

Obediently, Ronan got in bed, first on top of the covers, then changing his mind and getting underneath the quilt again. He sat with his back against the wall and Adam slid in beside him, their bodies pressed close in the twin bed. Gansey leaned around Adam to kiss Ronan’s forehead. “Get some rest. I’ll come check up on you when I’m awake. Blue’s coming by in the afternoon, by the way.”

“Did you schedule everyone we know to come bother me?” Ronan grumbled.

“Yes. I’m actually leaving now.” Gansey closed the door behind him after making quick eye contact with Adam. Ronan sighed and let his head drop onto Adam’s shoulder.

“He’s only like this because he cares about you,” Adam reminded him as he handed Ronan the mug, taking care not to spill it.

“I know.” Ronan sniffed the beverage and cautiously took a sip. Seeming to consider it for a moment, he swallowed. “Fuck, that’s sweet. But I’ve had worse.” After a year visiting 300 Fox Way, they’d all had worse. “I heard you guys talking in the kitchen.”

“Oh?”

“I just wanted to--look. I know how I am. But I hope you know that you’re easy to--”

“Stop.” Adam shook his head, almost instinctively. It wasn’t the concept he was resisting. He’d felt it, known it, but hearing it aloud was entirely different. It was strange enough to hear Gansey say it about Ronan. Love was new to Adam’s vocabulary. “Not yet.”

Ronan stopped, then turned and craned his neck to kiss Adam’s cheek. If he saw, he didn’t say anything about Adam trying to blink back tears. “Got it. You okay?”

“Yeah. Promise.” They were good tears.

“Good.” Ronan turned back to his drink and took another sip. “Want to watch a movie?”

Adam had planned on getting some reading done for class, but he’d left his bag by the door and didn’t want to get it for worry of disturbing Gansey. Plus, he wasn’t sure if he had the bandwidth to focus on reading after the morning’s events. “Sure. What do you want to watch?”

With a shrug, Ronan took another sip. “Pick whatever out of my Netflix list. I’ll probably fall asleep. Laptop’s at the foot of the bed.”

Placing the laptop over his knees, Adam found a movie that he could tolerate watching until Ronan dozed off and he could commandeer the computer to attempt to get some work done. Barely past the opening credits, Ronan finished the ginger drink and handed the mug back to Adam before squirming down in the bed and putting his head in the other’s lap. Adam traced his fingers over the swirls of Ronan’s tattoo, the other’s skin still too warm, until he heard him start to snore. He couldn’t reach forward to pause the movie without moving Ronan, so he resigned himself to half-watching the rest and half-watching Ronan sleep, wondering what he would bring back when he woke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (He brings back a Chainsaw-sized copy of the hat Gansey made Ronan, but with Gansey's face on it instead of a raven. It's very creepy and Gansey mandates that she can't wear it out of Ronan's room.)


	2. home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole squad gets sick. The whole squad gets better. Adam gets worse, Ronan remembers his time in the ER, and Gansey puts a ban on apologies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I only do one-shots  
> Also me: mmm but I have an opportunity to make these boys care for each other and showcase that PAs are awesome.

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Adam and Gansey fell sick shortly after.

To everyone’s surprise, Adam actually called out of work for the first three days. He bounced between Ronan and Gansey’s beds, staying with whoever was most likely to let him sleep. It wasn’t the ideal first week officially as a couple (Ronan had nixed ‘throuple’ right off the bat and no one could think of a better word, so they left it at ‘couple’ until they were all feeling well enough to come up with something better), but there were certainly worse situations than spending days falling asleep on each other’s chests while movies played forgotten in the background. 

They went back to school, stealing kisses when no one was looking and brushing hands together in the hall. Adam went back to work, returning to Monmouth after his shifts to shower and crawl into bed with whoever was already asleep. Everything was back to normal, save for the shared beds and exploring hands and mouths, until a few days later when Adam left Calculus, coughing into his elbow, and didn’t come back.

“I don’t like this,” Ronan said, picking up Adam’s books, and Gansey nodded. Back in the hallway, he opened his locker to find a folded note stuck inside.  _ Sandy said I still have a fever and sent me home. I’ll talk to you later.  _ He showed the note to Gansey. “I really don’t like this.”

Gansey drove them back to Monmouth, and Ronan groaned as soon as he saw that Adam’s car wasn’t parked outside. “Fuck,” he exhaled, “Of fucking course he’s not here.”

“I also assumed that he meant here by ‘home’.”

Gansey put the Pig in reverse to head back to the road, but Ronan stopped him, anxiety twisting in his gut. Something wasn’t right. “Wait. Let’s take my car.” Without question, Gansey parked the car and they got into the BMW, Ronan pulling out before Gansey even fastened his seatbelt. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel for the duration of the drive, leg bouncing at stop lights.

Sure enough, Adam’s car was parked outside the church. Letting them in with the spare key he’d dreamt for the times that Adam fell asleep studying and Ronan needed to lock up on his way out, he opened the door to find Adam curled on the bed, looking distinctly worse than he had the day before. Ronan knelt next to the bed and touched Adam’s fever-flushed cheek, then his forehead; Gansey stood behind him. “Hey. Sleeping beauty. Way to fucking disappear on us.”

Eyes fluttering open, Adam smiled. “Hey.” Pulling the blanket over the bottom half of his face, he tucked his head down and coughed. If Ronan wasn’t already worried, he was now. Of course, perpetually overworked, underslept, underfed Adam would be the one to have something go wrong. “Did you see Persephone on your way in? She just left.”

Ronan glanced up at Gansey, then back to Adam. Given who Adam was, and who Persephone had been, it wasn’t entirely out of the question, but nevertheless. “Are you sure?”

“No, wait--it was Blue.” Adam closed his eyes. Ronan knew Blue was working. “Or my mother. Your mother. I don’t remember.”

“Adam, when’s the last time you had anything to eat?” Gansey asked, and Adam shrugged, mumbling about not being hungry. Jerking his head toward the door, Gansey crossed the room, Ronan standing and following him.

“This isn’t good.”

“He needs to go to the hospital.”

“I know.” Gansey glanced over at Adam, biting at his lower lip. “He’s not going to be happy about it.”

“Well, he doesn’t get a fucking choice in the matter at this point,” Ronan snapped, voice still a whisper. “You get him ready while I start the car.” Without waiting for a response, Ronan went outside, grateful to have a tangible task to distract from his worry. Cranking the heat to maximum, he left the BMW idling and returned to Adam’s apartment

Gansey had gotten Adam to sit up and helped him into his boots and jacket, but wasn’t seeming to have much luck getting him out the door. Ronan heard him trying to coax the other to stand, “Adam, you have to go. We’re worried about you.”

Losing patience in his anxious state, Ronan crouched down to Adam’s level. “Parrish.” Adam looked up, eyes still half-closed. “You really don’t want to die at a church--the Holy Spirit’s gonna haunt you for eternity. Get up.” He hooked one arm under Adam’s and pulled him to his feet. Obediently, Adam shuffled to the door, looking like he might lie down on the floor and go back to sleep any second. When Adam was safely bundled into the front seat of the BMW with Gansey in the back, Ronan pulled out of the lot and drove quickly-yet-safely to the hospital, speed mostly dictated by trying not to jostle Adam too much. At the hospital, Ronan paused at the ER entrance to allow Gansey and Adam out before parking in the closest spot and jogging inside to join them. 

There was someone ahead of them at the registration desk, and Adam was leaning heavily on Gansey in line. Coming up behind them, Ronan nodded toward the waiting area. “I’ll check him in--go sit him down before he falls over.” 

“His wallet’s in his coat pocket,” Gansey said, “Right one.”

“Got it.” Ronan found the leather wallet--a birthday gift from Gansey--and pulled out Adam’s ID. He checked for an insurance card, knowing full well that he wouldn’t find one. Keeping an eye on Adam and Gansey until they were seated, he fidgeted with the leather bands on his wrist until it was his turn to check in. The hospital already had Adam’s information on file from his last visit, but Ronan had them update his address, grateful to have Robert Parrish’s trailer scrubbed from Adam’s record. The person at the desk walked over to Adam and had him confirm his name and date of birth before wrapping his ID band around his wrist, telling Ronan that the nurse would call when it was Adam’s turn.

Adam was lying down across three chairs, his head in Gansey’s lap, eyes closed. Gansey rubbed Adam’s back with one hand and smoothed his hair with the other, looking up only when Ronan sat down on his other side. “I hate seeing him like this,” he murmured. “I want to help but I—”

“Trust me, you’re helping.” Ronan reached over and tucked a few strands of sweat-dampened hair behind Adam’s ear. He brushed his fingers against Gansey’s, quick enough that no one would see, but long enough to be comforted by the modicum of touch, and lowered his voice. “You’re not the only one who’s scared.”

They waited like that, Gansey nervously running his fingers through Adam’s hair, Ronan counting Adam’s breaths, until a nurse emerged from the ER doors and called out, “Last name, Parrish?” Adam lifted his head and Gansey helped him stand, one arm around his waist as they walked toward the nurse. “Let’s get you a wheelchair, honey,” she said, wheeling one out from the nook where the vending machines were and helping Adam sit. “Not feeling too well?” 

Adam shook his head. “No, ma’am,” he replied, leaning forward and resting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. 

“We’ll get you fixed up, don’t you worry.” She unlocked the brakes and turned to Ronan and Gansey. “We’ve got a one-visitor policy, boys. Which one of you is coming with?”

Ronan hated the idea of waiting outside while Adam was ill. He hated the idea of making Gansey do the same. He stared down the nurse, jaw set, knowing full well that he was being a dick and that it wasn’t likely to get him anywhere. Gansey, on the other hand, immediately switched into his ‘I’m the son of a politician’ voice and replied, “Well, you see, we’re the closest he has to family--he’s had a rough year and we’d appreciate—”

The nurse sighed, pushing the button to open the ER doors. “Alright, alright. Just keep the volume down--we had half the Aglionby track team in here a while back and it was like a house party.” 

“Thank you, ma’am. We really appreciate it.” Ronan added a close-lipped smile on top of Gansey’s effuse thanks. They followed the nurse to the room that would be Adam’s, trying their best to stay out of the way while she helped him onto the stretcher and took his vitals. “I’ll go get you a warm blanket,” she said, pushing the wheelchair out of the room, “and the provider should be in shortly.”

Gansey took a seat in the plastic chair beside the bed, and Ronan sat on the wheeled stool nearby and rolled it closer to Adam. “Why are there two chairs if there’s a one visitor limit?”

“Probably so the doctor can sit.”

“Psh,” Ronan scoffed, “If you can make it through medical school you can stand for five minutes.”

“On the contrary--if you make it through medical school, I think you’ve earned the right to sit.”

The curtain in the doorway opened and the nurse from before came in, unfolding a cream-colored blanket on top of Adam. “Better?” Adam nodded, rolling onto his side and mumbling his thanks. “Good. Elise will be in in a few minutes.”

Gansey scooted his chair closer and went back to stroking Adam’s hair while Ronan fit a hand through the bedrails to link with Adam’s fingers. “I’m sorry you had to do all this,” Adam said before abruptly turning his head toward the mattress and coughing. Echoing Ronan’s comment from the week before, he added, “I really don’t feel good.”

“Please don’t apologize.” Ronan leaned in and brought Adam’s hand to his lips. Adam had been apologizing just for existing his whole life--of course he’d apologize for being sick enough to go to the hospital. “I’m just returning the favor.” Drawing Ronan’s hand to his chest, Adam closed his eyes just moments before the curtain opened again. Ronan pulled his hand back, striking his pinky finger against the bedrail, just as Gansey put his hand back in his lap. This was, after all, Henrietta, and one never knew what to expect.

The woman who came in wore a crisp white coat with the hospital insignia embroidered on the chest pocket, looking like every other medical professional Ronan had ever seen. Unlike the others, however, she had a bright blue streak in her hair, pulled into a neat ponytail. And she was young, maybe thirty--not the old men Ronan had grown up seeing. Rubbing sanitizer onto her hands, she looked to everyone in the room and smiled. “Adam?” He nodded, rolling onto his back to face her. “I’m Elise Holland, one of the physician assistants.” She paused. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I took care of you a while back. How’s your ear?”

Adam lifted one hand and made a cutting motion side to side, and Elise pressed her lips in a line. “I’m sorry. Are you managing it okay?” Adam shrugged, and she let out a small sigh. “Well, I hoped I could say you look better than the last time I saw you, but really, you’re looking a different kind of awful. What’s going on? Oh, and if you don’t mind—” She gestured to the stool Ronan was sitting on, and Gansey elbowed him in the ribs when he didn’t get up right away. Elise rolled the stool to the other side of the bed, sitting down and taking a small notebook out of her coat pocket.

Opening his mouth to speak, Adam managed half a word before doubling over coughing again, looking to Gansey once he caught his breath. Gansey took the cue and launched into the story of the previous week, occasionally looking to Ronan or Adam for confirmation of some detail, and finishing with Adam’s apparent delirium. “Sounds like you three have had a rough time,” Elise offered before taking her stethoscope out of her pocket. “I’m gonna listen to your heart and lungs, okay?”

With noticeable effort, Adam pushed himself to a sitting position, taking deep breaths as directed. Elise raised her eyebrows at the second place she listened, giving a slight nod before listening to a few more spots on his back, and then on his chest. Sitting back down, she spoke mostly to Adam, but met Gansey and Ronan’s eyes as if she knew that Adam wasn’t paying complete attention. “This looks like a pretty classic post-flu pneumonia. It’s one of the most common complications--what happens is, the virus irritates the lungs and makes it easy for bacteria to settle in. I’m going to order a chest x-ray and some bloodwork so we can get an idea of how severe it is, and go on from there. And I’ll order some Tylenol, which should get you feeling a little better.”

“Thank you,” Gansey answered for Adam, who appeared to have fallen asleep again.

“My pleasure.” She paused, looking directly to Gansey and Ronan. “I forgot to ask when I came in--what’s the relation between you three? Housemates, roommates?”

Ronan inhaled slowly, considering the ramifications of what he wanted to say. It was Henrietta, but the PA’s accent wasn’t, and she seemed understanding. Finally, after looking at Adam--his Adam-- curled in the bed, Ronan replied, “Boyfriends,” at the exact same time Gansey said, “Lovers,” because of course Gansey would say something like that.

Elise smiled. “Well, Adam’s lucky to have folks like you to look after him. I’ll be back once all the test results are in and we can talk about what to do.”

As soon as she was out the door, Ronan turned to Gansey and hissed, “Lovers? Seriously? It’s not the fucking fifties anymore.”

“I don’t know! Boyfriends seemed too casual. Lovers was—”

“If that isn’t the most pretentious—”

“Guys, please.” They stopped arguing at the sound of Adam’s voice. “They’re gonna kick you out. But I’m siding with Ronan on this.” Ronan lightly punched Gansey in the shoulder. “She’s right, though--I am lucky to have you.”

The next step of the process moved relatively quickly--the nurse drew Adam’s blood, someone else took him to x-ray and back, the Tylenol brought his fever down and made him a little more alert. At the nurse’s suggestion and Gansey’s urging, he sipped ginger ale and worked his way through a few saltines with peanut butter. Throughout this, Ronan paced the room, looked in all the cabinets (which held mostly linens and a variety of basins for people to vomit into), and rolled his chair around until Gansey told him that it was making too much noise.

“Ronan,” Adam said after Ronan almost fell off the chair for a second time, “Can you please stop moving for like, two minutes?”

The truth was, Ronan could not. When he sat still, he picked at the bands on his wrists and looked at the scars going up his arms. He clenched and unclenched his fists, held his arms behind his back, tugged his sleeves down to his wrists. Finally, encircling one wrist with the other hand, fingernails digging into the scarred skin there, he said softly, “I’m sorry you had to do this with me, when I--the--you know.”

“Oh, Ronan,” Gansey exhaled, putting an arm around him and pulling him close. “No one blames you for that.”

“I should have told you the truth.” 

“It still would have been terrifying,” Adam said, “regardless of why it happened.” Ronan supposed he was right, that major bleeding from self-inflicted wounds and from the talons of nightmare creatures looked the same. It didn’t change the fact that Adam had cried until Gansey showed up to take over, or that he’d been so obviously on edge for weeks after. “Can you come over here, please?” Ronan rolled his chair closer and leaned against the bedrail, and Adam shifted positions so he could kiss Ronan’s forehead. “I’m not upset, and I love you.”

Between the worry about Adam and guilt about his own ER visit, Ronan felt stretched thin already, and this was enough to break him. It was a beautiful thing to hear from Adam, who had been so hesitant to even hear the word two weeks ago. It was a beautiful thing to hear at all--love in the Lynch family had been expressed widely but said rarely, especially now that it was just him, Declan, and Matthew. Turning his head and wiping tears onto his sleeve, he sniffled and nodded. “Love you, too.”

“And I love you both, but I’m going to enforce a new rule of ‘no apologizing in the hospital.’” Gansey dragged his chair closer and leaned beside Ronan on the railing. He kissed Ronan’s cheek, then Adam’s forehead. The curtain swished as Elise came back in, and Ronan begrudgingly vacated his seat, going instead to stand by the head of the bed and running his fingers through Adam’s hair, smiling as Adam let out a low hum.

“How are you feeling?” Elise asked, and Adam shrugged, although he did look a little better after getting his fever down and consuming an obscene quantity of ginger ale. She went on to explain that the x-ray had shown a pneumonia in the lower part of Adam’s right lung, and that while the bloodwork was consistent with a not-insignificant infection, there wasn’t anything alarming. Adam would get a few days of two antibiotics and be good as new. “And do you all live together? Given the confusion you reported, I strongly recommend he have someone around to make sure he takes the medication and shows gradual improvement.”

“He’ll be staying with us.” Gansey squeezed Adam’s hand.

Ronan felt a rush of relief. Adam would be okay. Adam would be back at Monmouth ( not alone at St. Agnes), safely back in bed (whose bed had yet to be determined), getting better. Adam would fall asleep with his head on Ronan’s chest and his hand entwined with Gansey’s and they would all breathe easier (Adam literally, Ronan and Gansey figuratively). He bent over and kissed the top of Adam’s head.

“Does this all sound okay to you, Adam?” Elise confirmed.

“That sounds good. Thank you. And thank you for being so kind with…” Adam glanced at Gansey, then tilted his head up so Ronan could see his face for a second before looking back to Elise, “this. Us.”

She smiled. “I wish you the best. You all seem like you make a good team.” 

On her way out, she crossed paths with the nurse, who went through the discharge instructions with Adam and gave him the first dose of both antibiotics with yet another can of ginger ale. Insisting he could walk out on his own, Adam made his way to the parking lot and got in the back of the BMW with Gansey so that he could lean his head against Gansey’s shoulder. “He’s more comfortable than leaning against the window.” 

“Okay, but I’m not gonna act like a chauffeur with you two riding in the back all the time.” The truth, of course, was that Ronan would do anything that Adam asked of him. When they were almost back at Monmouth, he glanced in the rearview mirror to see Adam fighting sleep, head bobbing down and then suddenly sitting back up. “Try to stay awake a little longer,” he said, “We’re almost there.”

Adam made a humming sound and smiled, eyes still closed. “Almost home.”

Gansey met Ronan’s gaze in the mirror, and Ronan saw his own emotions reflected. Gratitude. Amazement. Heart-melting, as-a-second-self, overwhelming devotion.

“Yeah,” Ronan said softly, looking back to the road, “Home.”


End file.
